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Video Games (A Rant for E3)
Transcript Foamy: Over the years, our forms of entertainment have evolved, from storytelling to radio, from radio to television, from television to web content. All these mediums have become accepted forms of entertainment for the majority of the population. Except video games, for some reason. Anytime I bring up the topic of video games, I usually get hit with some kind of idiotic quip, like, “Oh! Games are a waste of time!” or “Oh! Games are for kids!” I hate this. I really fucking hate this! Mainly because it dribbles from the mouths of elderly dust-bags too out-of-touch to be aware of our changing taste of entertainment, they’d rather just bitch and moan about “how kids don’t read enough,” or “how they watch too much TV” and blah, blah, blah. For those who haven’t picked up a controller since Pong, games have come a long way since the 2D blocks you used to play with. They’ve evolved into an art form of sorts, a medium for interactive storytelling which engrosses the participant as deeply as any film can. “But, Foamy? It all seems so silly. It’s mindless running around collecting virtual crap you don’t need.” Yes. Some games are structured that way—but not all of them are. That’s like saying every black person is a criminal because one portrayed one on TV! And that makes you a video game racist. Don’t be racist! “But games are so violent!” And books aren’t? Anyone read the Hunger Games?? Remember the part with the exploding baby limbs? Best seller. Discussion over! Move along. “But they’re influencing our children to commit violent acts!” Well, so is religious documents. Be a terrorist or “rite to lifers,” who kill doctors. A bunch of religious books have caused more violence in our society than any game, music video or violent movie ever could—combined! Discussion over! Move along! “Violent games should be banned from children!” Dude, shut the fuck up. Your ignorance and inability to conceive of a game being elevated to an art form automatically shoves you into the backwards-thinking box! You’re not open-minded, you’re not understanding. You don’t grasp the concept and therefore don’t have intelligent perspective that allows YOU to comment on the subject! You’re scared of an art form you don’t quite understand and like a dumb creature in a corner, you’re lashing out without reason, and without logic. Besides, a rating system is already in place. So shut the fuck up and let me get back to my game! If you want to really understand what the fuck you’re talking about, sit and play a wide variety of games. Learn about them. Follow the stories, and if then, you still fear their “corrupting the youth,” play some more. Much like literature, music and film, there will be a lot of sucky content out there, and a handful of gems. It’s your job, as a PARENT, to filter out the good from the bad. And if you can’t do that, the next step isn’t to ban everything; the next step is to learn how to be a fucking parent. Yeah, yeah, let’s ban video games. Sure! As soon as we ban the Bible and... CSI. Fucking morons. Games, games...! The ending screen appears.